Eat Pray Love

I disapear into the person I love. If I love you, you can have it all - my money, my time, my body, my dog, my dog's money. I will assume debt. I will project upon you qualities that you never cultivated in yourself before. I will give you this and more untill I am so exhausted and depleted that the only way I can recover is by becoming infatuated with someone else.

This is a passage from Eat Pray Love that sounds too familiar.

Pirates of the Blogaribean!

I have a friend who recently intrusted me with her blog website address. I feel like a blog, is to some extent, personal property despite that at the end of the day it's published on the world wide web. However, no one really cares about the blog because no one really knows it exists until its address is revealed. It's like revealing the map of a hidden treasure... Her blog made me remember that I started a blog of my own about almost two years ago! I hadn't thought about until I started thinking about ways to thank her for letting me into her blog world. Then the thought struck me. I'm not as good of a writer as she is, however, I am sharing personal stories that are equally...well...personal.

Enjoy!

To and Fro

"I think love it a scar that never really heals. You can be happy with Julius now and I know you are and I know it is genuine. But the fact that you and Greg never got to test the potential for a relationship because of essentially logistics, you're heart wont let it go. I think with time, the memory of you and him will slowly fade and you eventually wont care anymore. In time you'll realize that Greg was not the guy for you at this point in time. To speed up the process, I think you have to make yourself understand that you and Greg were in sync for a very brief period of time and now you guys are not in the same place in your lives. You guys are simply victims of circumstance. Victims of time and space. Don't fight it, you'll tire yourself out. Under different circumstances, under different time scales and space, you and Greg would fit. But under the current conditions it's impossible. And I think that's okay because there are so many guys out there, so many other combinations of circumstance, time and space that you can enjoy. The proof is Julius! All to say that I think it's normal to feel the way you feel. Be down to earth and make yourself realize that your lifepath is not in sync with his anymore. Sounds easy but I'm still struggling with it. Maybe it has to do with the fact that we live in a society where we get whatever we can. You want shoes, you get em'. I want Jordan, I don't get him?!? That makes no sense. But if we try to open our mind a little, we can start to realize why we can't be together. Alot is logistics.

Your lover girl."

The Media

A friend of mine told me a story to try and explain the manipulative but truthful character of the media. I thought it was worth sharing. It went something like this:

"There once was a small town. In the small town, there was a Baker who did the baking and the Newspaper Boy who delivered the paper. One day, the Newspaper Boy approached the baker and challenged him to a bicycle race! The baker did not hesitate and proudly took on the challenge. The next day, the newspaper heading read "An Unexpected Finish for the Town Baker Who Came in Second to Last".

I Am Who I Wanted to Be Yesterday

Throughout my life, I've been developing an idea of the person I want to be. The more I live, the more I refine that idea. It's a constructive and ongoing process. Waiting at the airport today, I realized that I may never be that person...The idea of the person I want to be is by definition a step ahead of who I am today. So I've decided to just be who I wanted to be ....yesterday. Fake sense of accomplishment? I wonder.

A burger? Or a one night stand...

Eating fast food is like having a one night stand. Exquisite taste in the moment feels like shit the next day.

After a conversation with MC and her roomate. I decided to clarify this entry. When I speak of a "feeling of shit" I am not referring to "feelings of slutiness". When women have sex with men, their bodies produce a hormone that induces a need for a relationship, emotional connection. So, after a one night stand, a women can feel like her emotional needs are not fulfilled and can make her feel like "shit".

That being said, I will not support nor deny the fact that I have had a one night stand and felt great about it ;)

The Man I Never Kissed

Tall and handsome, blonde hair, blue eyes-the total cliché combination. His name was Christian. We met in Panama and we climbed for a week together. Agility, muscles, brains and looks. He had them all. He was the type of guy that you can't help but stare at because he is so beautiful. The type of man that models for Oscar de la Renta. I know, I didn't believe it until he showed me his billboards rolled up in the closet. Till this day, I do not know why I did not kiss him. The physical attraction was reciprocal and we both wanted eachother but were both too shy to do anything about it. Sad story, I know. I want t kick myself everytime I remember that I did not have the guts to kiss him.